The first to fall to Claydonia

It is events like the drive home today that start my weekend off so great. Let me give you a little background for those not in Northern VA.

I-95 heading out of DC had a set of HOV lanes running down the middle of the north and south bound lanes. In the afternoon these lanes are moving south. In the grass between these lanes there are some pass throughs for emergency vehicles only spaced out sporadically the length of the HOV lanes. These pass throughs allow the oh-so-bright-shut-down-2-out-of-3-lanes-for-a-fender-bender state police move from the main lanes to the HOV.

Now the event in this story takes place between a few points:

1. A pass through before the 2nd to last exit off the HOV
2. The second to last exit off the HOV
3. A pass through before the last exit of the HOV
4. The last exit off the HOV.

I am heading south on the HOV and notice that the main lanes are starting to really slow down even stop in some places. At this point a state trooper joins the group of cars that I am traveling in. As it often happens, the morons on the main lanes on a Friday afternoon (who must enjoy slamming their own genitalia in doors) see the fast moving traffic in the HOV lane. This sparks a tiny hope in their minds that if they could just get over there they would be in better shape. Then----on the horizon----like a mirage in the dessert, one of these "Authorized Vehicles Only" pass throughs appears. Now the hard part happens, weighing the risk and the reward. So as I am sure all you citizens of Claydonia have guessed, they chose to head through this pass through. As I approach this pass through I notice 3 cars waiting for a break in HOV traffic to merge in from the pass through. Now if you remember from earlier there was a state trooper with us. And for once in my life there was a cop there when you needed one. He flips his lights on and heads towards these vehicles caught red handed illegally merging onto the HOV lanes.

Now a true citizen of Claydonia will feel no remorse for these morons. But not for the reason you think. Not because they should have gotten caught, but because it was a worthless ticket. And here is why:

I mentioned that 95 had already backed up way before this. A seasoned traveler of this area of 95 knows that if 95 is backed up then the HOV will be backed up from the last exit as far as 2+ miles. Us veterans use this knowledge and get off at the 2nd to last exit off the HOV onto 95. From here we get off at the next exit and take the back roads home. So these idiots were getting on a dead end, because they were not far from the 2nd to last exit and were not aware the HOV was going to be backed up. That means that they risked, and in the end received, a ticket just to sit in another hour of traffic with no exits to get off.

What would have been acceptable would be the people on the HOV lanes past the 2nd to last exit attempting to go through the pass through down there and getting a ticket. At this point the ticket is well deserved and you have made a good choice. In fact, your king has attempted this very maneuver, of course sans ticket.

In closing, in Claydonia, the morons I have spoken of would not have been given a ticket. For their stupidity the officer would have escorted them down the HOV lanes to where it began to back up. Sped up and waited for the cars to reach the last exit of the HOV lanes and considering the length of time they sat in traffic, if it was after 3:30 pm I would give them a ticket for not having 3 people in the car. If it was not 3:30 then I would have given them a ticket for improper use of the pass through. Or both, officers discretion.