Just listen to the cops.....please....

In light of recent news, and a lengthy and often hilarious search on YouTube for police video, I have come to a conclusion:

IF YOU DON'T GIVE COPS A HARD TIME YOU WILL NOT BE TASERED, MACED, BEAT, OR SHOT.

I am not sure where our society made the turn and suddenly thought that it was OK to question, protest, or defy an authority figure. All these bleeding-heart, Prius-driving, blind-to-the-real-world losers really need a wake up call. When you boil it down, cops are just upholding the law, and putting their lives on the line in the process. As a former MP, the first thing on your mind as a cop is the fact that no matter what happens tonight, I am going home to my family when my shift is over. That is by any means necessary. So cops have to handle every situation as they were trained, and that is to escalate the force as the opposition escalates. And the rule of this escalation: Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Therefore all you liberals crying about police brutality need to understand that as an offender escalates their actions the cop will escalate just past the level of force shown. And believe it or not, taser/mace is at the bottom of the list of force. These allow the officer to not put himself too close to the person and risk bodily harm to himself. And trust me there are a lot more levels of force on that list.

But all this would not be necessary if people would just listen to the officer. Here are a few words of wisdom to live by, cause if you don't you might not be living at all at the end of it:

1. At the time of the ticket or arrest do not try to plead your case! Is the cop wearing a black robe? NO. Then he is not a judge and cannot say if you are innocent or guilty of the crime in which you have committed, and if he is wearing a robe you have been fooled and should not bend over the hood like he is asking. Nothing like a cavity check with both hands on your shoulders.
2. If a cop has to repeat a command to you, you better know how to count. You get two maybe three times before he escalates, and by escalate I mean pain flying in your direction. Because believe it or not, non-compliance is an arrestable offense.
3. If a cop pulls something for the "Bat Belt," now would be a good time to shut up and lay down. Nothing on that belt is made of a pretty clouds and bunnies. That belt will cause you more pain this slapping your wang against a bee hive. So lets all repeat this mantra shall we: "Hand to belt, dick to dirt."Everyone will be happier and more Zen after.
4. If, by some reason, you didn't read 1-3 and you get the wrong end of the cop's toys, now would be an opportune time to shut up and do what he is now screaming at you. Plus no one sounds cool when they get tasered, which usually sounds like a cross between "the scene" in Deliverance and Chewbacca masturbating.

These four simple rules are best to live by. Now for all you crying liberals who want justice for a certain professor in the news, let me work a quick scenario over you.

You are on vacation. You don't know a lot of your neighbors. But one old cat lady (we all know one) is staring out her window and sees two guys breaking a window and climbing into your home. She calls the cops and two units arrive. They knock on the door and the robbers yell through the door that this is their house and there is no problem. They just locked themselves out and had to break a window to get it. The cops take the on their word, and never have even laid eyes on the subject, leave the scene. You return home from you vacation of protesting at some soldier's funeral to find that your house has been emptied and you have nothing. No bed for your inbred children to sleep. No computer to shop eBay with your government check. And most of all no 52" LCD TV to sit you fat ass in front of while you suck the life out of this society. Plus can your puny brain even fathom the shit storm that the cops would be in for just leaving on someones word? Trust but verify.

Sound about right, this kind of shit doesn't happen in Claydonia.