I need a hero...

A story hit the front pages yesterday about a man that went into a gym that he frequented.

Entered a dance class with 30 people, mostly women, in it.
Rummaged through his duffel bag.
Turned out the lights.

And opened fire on the entire class. Eye witnesses described it as flashes in the dark. With each of these muzzle flashes, George Sodoni was condemning the ones who had rejected him for some 48 years. When the smoke cleared 3 women were dead and 9 others were wounded. And of course this sorry, sadistic loser turned the guns on himself.

Now he wasn't actually targeting any one individual. Just women in general. He claimed in his diary, what I can only describe as mental bowel movements on paper, that he has spent his entire life being rejected by women.

And that is all the free press I am going to give this worthless, weak, and sick individual. Because my wife and queen of Claydonia stated: "I don't like giving anti social losers the the time of day. This is what he wanted....somebody to see him."

I don't give a shit about this man's woes, or how his mommy didn't hug him enough, or his daddy wasn't there, or whatever reason he might claim. What I am saying is that ALL of us have had awkward times with the opposite sex. It's called HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!! And, yes, there are some of them that never get past 1st base and turn around to find themselves 30 or 40 years old and never having touched "lady parts." BIG DEAL!!! You know what normal people like that do? One of two things.

1. Since they didn't spend college in the back of a beat up Volvo station wagon, they get really good grades, which lead to really good jobs, which leads to women wanting a sugar daddy. All of you women out there who just got really offended, suck it up, you all know there are girls like this out there. They are the ones you gossip about before church starts. And yes, I went there. So sue me for calling church what it is.
2. PAY FOR IT!!!!!! This is why Las Vegas and the Bunny Ranch exist. Jesus, you have a good job and lots of money. Figure it out. Round peg goes in the round hole.

So that takes care of how to handle the issue about contact with the women-folk. Now onto the point of the title of this blog. I, King of Claydonia, need some more heroes. Sully was too long ago and they never released the names of the awesome guys that sniped those pirates to save the American ship captain. I would have sent them a bottle of Bombay Sapphire and my first born for that little stunt.

So why is it that we have no more heroes? Idiots like this Sodini douche, the VA Tech and Columbine shooters are all doing it the wrong way. As the bad guy, you have no right to decide when your life ends. You are supposed to go in, take some hostages, and stand by a window. At that point you will allow what should be done to be done. That being turning your head into a pink mist from 1000 yards away. Thus giving you what you wanted...to die; and me what I wanted.....a hero to admire and a great story for my grand kids someday.

Look I know there are F-ed up people out there, and that they are going to do horrible things to their fellow man. All that I ask is to let the ending of their life be a spectacle for the ages. Don't turn the gun on yourself, all that does is make the few negotiators talking with you have to pretend to care about you for a hot second. Let someone be a hero! Is that too much to ask?